Are you serious…? Do you really NEED to be?
I’ve spent the last week scrolling through my Facebook feed only to find another gem of a post in the “Shit Eventers Unite” group that brings forth snorts, guffaws and tears of laughter in response. Having only been in the group for a short time, I’ve already gained much pleasure from reading about people’s adventures and mishaps that resonate so firmly with my life with horses – particularly the childhood memories. Seeing a group of people who share our passion, dedication, love of horses with such good humor has been invigorating. It also made me think about how hard we can be on ourselves, how much pressure we put on ourselves and those around us, to ‘get it right’ all the time. I’ve wanted to write something about how we can benefit from seeing our strengths and small victories in our riding for some time now and the ‘Shit Eventers’ have given me the perfect nudge.
Don’t get me wrong, I do think we should always be reflective about how we are doing with our horses in terms of treatment, training, care etc. BUT do we take the time to celebrate the tiny moments of success? Probably not as much as we should. Maybe it’s a good time to allow yourself an ‘atta boy’ or at least a happy (or smug) smile at some small achievement you’ve made in your horse life recently. Over Thanksgiving we likely all gave a nod to the people and things we are grateful for in our worlds, and now I encourage you to take a moment to revel in what YOU have done well. In truth, it might be something simple you’ve been teaching your horse bit by bit, moment by moment through calm repetition. Eventually, all of the time, patience and consistency you’ve put in, form those tiny building blocks that our horses learn from. If you don’t step back and acknowledge the journey, it’s hard to see how far you’ve come. So, take a hot minute to remember the tiny triumphs and feel a little pride in them – no matter how small.
Furthermore, remember where this hobby and sport came from for you. There is a reason you got into this sport. For many folks, horse owning and riding is a hobby that becomes a lifestyle. Sure, it is really helpful to have goals and aim for improvement, but the ultimate driving force is our passion for the partnership we have with our animals and the enjoyment we get from them. There’s a lot to be said for finding ways to have fun while trying to ‘be less shit’, as my newfound FB community would say. Perhaps there is way for you to create long term goals, while managing your daily expectations for yourself to include a little lightheartedness. Give yourself some appreciation and don’t get bogged down when things don’t go to plan - if 2020 has shown us anything, it’s opened the door to us being flexible and patient. In some ways, that could be a real gift!
Here are some examples of what those little ‘pat yourself (or your horse) on the back’ moments might be!
Transitions – There’s something really satisfying about the perfect square halt, or my favorite…. the walk to canter transition filled with power and lift.
Circles of suppleness – Even a few steps of springy suppleness are enough to bring a smile to my face, because once you get a few steps, you have a base to build on!
Picking feet up easily – Sometimes our horses are less obedient on the ground or are young and learning new things. Picking up your horse’s feet can be a challenge when they are learning how to trust you enough to stand on 3 feet (when you ask them). Patient repetition can really pay off and one day, this little job will be a simple task.
Clip job with straight lines – If you nail your clip job the first time, I think that warrants a little smug smile. If you don’t, the world will not come to an end if it’s a little wobbly. Just woo everyone with your warm smile when you go out in public instead - then no one will notice.
The immaculate stall – We’ve all had that one day when you just naturally have the most satisfying poop picking session. Sometimes, creating the cleanest fluffy bed for your pony is the only thing that does go to plan on a particular day. It’s still a positive outcome and can bring a certain level of satisfaction.
Perfect braids – By this I mean, they look good, line up easily and most importantly, are completed within your allocated time slot for show prep! If you finish five minutes early, you get extra bragging rights!
A spook free ride – This one is often beyond our control, but if you are able to keep your horse focused on you by using exercises like shoulder in or counter canter loops to keep them distracted from the ‘corner monster’, then that is a win. Heck, sometimes singing loudly (or in my case, badly) can help keep the spooks at bay.
Leaving your emotions at the door – We know how sensitive our creatures are and even when we think we’ve set aside external life frustrations, they let us know we didn’t do it well enough. If we really practice tucking away the days tensions to deal with later, it is possible to leave those emotions at the door. In fact, if you can squash those emotions before you put your foot in the stirrup, you may just have a good enough ride that will help rationalize the ‘life’ stress. Consider it a virtuous circle.
Not comparing yourself to those around you – This is imperative when it comes to your partnership with your horse. If you need to improve on some aspects of your riding or bond with your horse, fine. But don’t compare yourself to others around you, because they are not you. Their horse is not your horse. Comparing yourself to another in this way is like comparing apples to oranges. You can certainly observe and learn from folks around you and or get help, but you have your own journey, and it will not be identical to that of your barn neighbor.
Trying something new – For one, this probably means stepping outside your comfort zone, so that in itself is worthy of recognition on your part. Secondly, it could just be the avenue to fun!
Keeping fun a priority - Alright, alright! Every second of every day can’t always be a barrel of laughs, but when you keep ‘having fun’ high on your list of priorities, you’ll gain more in terms of rewards overall. This hobby is too expensive and time consuming for it not to bring pleasure most of the time. Keep that in focus.
Having a sense of humor when it doesn’t go to plan – This one speaks for itself and the ‘Shit Eventers’ give great examples of how to do this. Give yourself and your horse a little slack. Give those around you a little slack. Be gracious, humble and good humored. In my opinion, having a sense of humor makes the hard parts easier to navigate.
HAVE FUN! BE CONTENT!
Apologies for the bad language :)
